The New Breed

As I’ve alluded a few times already, the women here have certainly evolved and evolved quickly. When I first got here about four years ago, as well as all the other times I’ve come here to visit my grandparents, the women here always seem to be somewhat well-meaning and innocent (even bordering on naïve and gullible). It was fairly easy to meet a girl at a bar or club and get her number and then subsequently go out on a date. What was nice (and maybe this just happened to me) was that I felt like I earned that date for all the right reasons, with those being that she found me attractive and/ or interesting. The whole thing was very “Pleasantville”/ “Leave it to Beaver”-like. But that has all changed. Before, where these girls were like “wide-eyed innocent rookies” who were “just happy to be there”, now they are “well-seasoned veterans” expertly playing “the game” and using every trick in book such as “bait and switch”, “push and pull”, “sex sells”, and their love of the game is (to further continue the baseball analogy) motivated by money as it’s apparent a growing number are rating a guy’s attractiveness on how much money he makes, who his family is or who he knows. And I have to say, while not all that surprising, the change still comes as a shock.

To me, TW seems like a pretty conservative society. As I’ve said before, pornography appears to be strongly suppressed by the government. People aren’t overtly sexually in the way they dress or act (unless you’re talking about the under 21 demo). Even the pop stars here (male and female) cultivate a more wholesome image. Thus, I thought their attitudes toward dating, relationships and love were rather “Pleasantville”-like. Boy, was I wrong.

See, the thing I liked about dating in TW is that there was really no game-playing. As I said, before (like two years ago or earlier) the process was easy:
step 1 – meet the girl (at a bar or a club);
step 2 – talk and get her number;
step 3 – call her and set up a date;
step 4 – go on the date.

1-2-3-4, just like that. But, now, you have to repeat step 3 a few times before getting to step 4. And when I’m talking about repeating step 3, I’m not talking about calling her a few times, establishing the requisite comfort level for her to agree to go with you. No, I’m talking about calling her once, having a decent conversation, tentatively setting up a date only for her to say she’s uncertain about her availability on that date, and then indicated she would call later when she knows, only for her to eventually not make that call. After which, I will then call only for her to not only not pick up the call, but to also not return the call. (Hmm…now that I think about it, you’re not really repeating step 3; the process essentially ends at step 3, although I do call them again when they fail to make said phone call.)

Ok, I’m fine with the fact that she’s not interested, but then “why give me your number?” would be my counter. It begins to dawn on me that these women have become just like the women in the US. This sort of phenomenon would always happen to me there. Eventually, I came to realize that many of these women weren’t necessarily interested, but they were interested in the attention I would give via my calls, my interest. It makes sense, guys go out and, god willing, sleep with a woman whom they couldn’t care less about b/c it makes them feel good about themselves, strengthens their egos, fortifies their self-image. It’s only right that women be allowed to, in a sense, do the same thing, with the feeling of being vigorously pursued by a number of guys giving them the same boost as guys get from sleeping with numerous women. (Although it would please me to no end if women did the exact SAME thing. ;) )

Ok, so, it’s acknowledged that women in TW are capable of playing the game just as well as men, but this next story took me by surprise nonetheless.

I was playing pool and drinking with a buddy at one of my normal haunts, ironically complaining about my recent lack of success with women. I was complaining that I just haven’t been unable to establish a decent vibe with women. I tragically admit that I felt my “game”, my “talk” was boring. The whole time we were playing, there were two somewhat homely-looking women drinking at the bar.

Eventually, after finishing playing pool, we walked over to the bar to see if we can get anything going with the girls. My buddy, who can be rather out-going, started chatting with one of them. During a lull in conversation, I notice the girl take a quick glance at my friend. With that, I signaled our decision to stay a little longer by ordering drinks for me and my friend. Eventually, that girl (let’s call her Sherry) and my buddy went to play pool after she mentioned that she wanted to play with us earlier. This left me with her friend who was clearly wasted and was laboring to keep herself upright while sitting at the bar. Eventually, she mentioned she has just broken up with boyfriend, which explained why she was so drunk. After a little while, my buddy and Sherry came back. I made a reference to her about her friend’s breakup and asked if she has the same problem. The girl simply replied, “No”. I responded, “So, you don’t have a boyfriend?” She answered, “No, I do.” I then asked, “Is it the guy that just called.” (Her phone rang while she was playing pool.) She answered, “No, that’s another guy.” I shot her a surprised look. To which, she responded, “Girl has to have options.” I then jokingly said, “aahh, so, you’re one of those modern girls that has a lot of guys chasing her. Well, that’s too bad b/c I was going to ask you out.” Surprisingly, she replied with, “No, you have a chance.” I then replied, “well, what makes you think I want to ask you out now and just be one of your many.” I continued to play the part of not wanting to get involved with her, which only sparked her need for validation. She pressed for a number exchange. After feigning disinterest a few times, I exchanged numbers with her.

Shortly, a few seconds later, she returned her attention to her friend while I turned to talk to mine. And, all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see them, the two girls, making out. Ok, first, given that it’s TW, this sort of thing doesn’t happen that much, particularly, at the places I go to. Now, of course, as I’ve alluded to earlier, women here are evolving socially in the way they act, dress, think, talk, etc. and it only makes sense that this sort of thing does happens here, but, still, it’s TW. Also, they’re not just kissing, they were full-on making out with tongues flying all over the place. I was so shocked at what I saw that I had to voice it to them by saying, “whoa, whoa, do that again.” Then Sherry turned completely around and with a mischievous smile said, “you like that?” I said, “I’m a guy. Of course, I do.” The interesting thing about this was the way Sherry turned around and smiled at me after I said this as if to indicate that she, too, can be pleasantly surprised how different someone reveals himself to be compared to how you initially perceived himto be.

Picking up on Sherry’s growing attraction to me, I pulled her closer to me and said “I’ll tell you what. You kiss me and then you can kiss her.” Without missing a beat, Sherry moves in and we start making out. She then stops and held her finger up to indicate “wait”. She goes into her purse and grabs a mint, puts in her mouth and pulls me in and a mint exchange is underway. After awhile, we stopped and, in honoring our deal, she grabs the attention of her slumping friend and starts aggressively making out with her again. This time, she’s practically mounting her. Dorothy, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore!! My friend leans into me and comments that he thinks I might get a three-way tonight.

The night proceeds for another hour or so. I made out with Sherry a bit more. And then she mentioned that she needs to take her friend home. Fearing that I might lose an opportunity to turn an already memorable evening into an epic one, I told her to come back. She said she will. Eventually, the plan changed and the friend wasn’t going home. After some discussion of where to go with my place being rejected by her friend, we decided to go to this club called “Plush”. I then see her call for the bill. The waiter walks over and stands confused as to whom to give it to. Now, I’ve been in this situation before and the expectation is that the guy pays for it regardless of how many drinks he had, which was none other than a shot Sherry ordered for me and my friend (which can be easily interpreted as her buying us a round). Anyway, I used that moment as an opportunity to go to the bathroom. After I came out, my buddy told me that the girls paid and stormed off without even looking at my friend. When we got outside, the girls were both on the phone. Sherry was already walking in my direction when I tried to get her attention. Without even looking up at me, she turned away. She finished her phone call and tended to her friend. I walked up and said, “So, you ready (to go to the next place)”. Barely looking up at me, she coldly says, “It’s ok. I just called a cab. I’m going to take my friend home.” Stunned by the sudden turn of events, I walked over to my friend. After a few seconds, the girls walked right past us and went into a nearby club.

Now, I can’t help, but think that my only role in Sherry’s night was the one of kindly benefactor. But once it was clear that I was unwillingly to take that role, she made it clear that she had no time for me. The most shocking thing is how freely this girl used sex (or, at least, the promise of sex) as a means of having some guy (me in this instance) pay for her bill, which was likely US$100+. (After talking with some friends, it was pretty likely that even though I paid for that bill, I would never see that girl again.) Actually, this sort of thing is fairly commonplace. Another time, I met a “partygirl” at the same bar. She was flirting with me pretty heavily and I even made out with her in the cab. I asked her out for dinner. She asked if her friend could come. I said “yes”, but pushed the time to around 9pm, hoping that she and her friend would have eaten dinner by then and, thus, I would only be on the hook for the drinks. My plan failed. Both girls ordered food. And then they wanted to go to the bar I met her at. When we got there, another girl joined and more food and drinks were ordered. Sensing where the night was heading, after one drink, I told her I was tired and needed to leave. I asked her how much should I kick in. She immediately grabs the waiter and he prints out the bill. It was already at around NT$5000. I gave her NT$2000. The funny thing was I even felt bad about that at the time.

Anyway, the “game” has arrived in TW (or, more likely, it’s always been here and I’ve just been lucky I haven’t had to play it in the past). But, nonetheless, the “game” is here and don’t be fool, these women are not soft and cuddly character who giggle if you poke their stomachs like the Pillsbury Doughboy. No, they’re a whole different breed altogether.