Cast of Characters

Yes, I know it’s been a looonnngg time since I wrote something, but since I’m probably the only one that reads this, who am I hurting, right?

Currently, my life hasn't been that different for the last few years. Although, I have lost a lot of good friends to common trend in Taipei, which is them moving either back to the US or moving to Shanghai. This is probably worst part about living here. Other than that, I just learn Chinese in the morning and work in the afternoon. And free time is dominated with poker (I host a weekly game), pool and watching US TV shows....and, of course, trying the future Ms.

Anyway, I decided to introduce some of the people I hang out with. Through them and some of our shared stories, you may or may not see how life in Taipei is.

Ted
Probably my best friend here. Ted is one of the two classic “foreigner” archetypes in TPE; he’s self-employed in trading industry (not baseball cards or comic books, but products where he would find buyers for manufacturers). The other archetype that is the most common: English teacher.

We frequently meet up and play hours and hours of pool. Probably the nicest guy in the world; would never do or say anything that is hurtful to any person. I can’t stress that more. A classic example is that he’s been in on-again, off-again relationship with a girl named Naomi. He knows she’s not right for him to the point that he doesn’t see himself marrying her. (She’s older, such at an age where having kids is more and more difficult. I guess she would qualify as a “cougar”.) Anyway, he’s constantly having problems ending it b/c he knows the breakup will hurt her too much and he doesn’t want to do that when it’s ridiculous to use that logic b/c breakups are almost always painful for one of or both parties.

What’s annoying for me is that I KNOW he can do better; not necessarily better-looking or whatever, but more compatible. But the thing is he doesn’t want to hurt her. To his credit, I acknowledge that, due to how long they’ve known each other and how they have been and are a part of each other’s lives, they are friends and one of the few people he hangs out with consistently. But, it’s annoying for me b/c he’s also one of the few people that I enjoy hanging out and it’s hard to go out and meet girls when subconsciously he’s not really interested in doing that.

Nick
My other good friend here. (See, this is the thing about me, I’m a very nice and friendly person and, thus, know all of people on a casual basis, but there are very few people who I enjoy hanging out with enough to call them out. Everyone else I’m comfortable with just running into them out and about every now and then.)

Nick is the classic ABC archetype. Actually, he’s a not true American Born Chinese; he’s more of an ARC (American Raised Chinese). He’s bilingual (something that I am endlessly jealous about), works for the family (almost every ABC that comes back to TPE works for the family), loves to drink and party and does pretty well with the ladies. Nick and I joke that we are “brothers from another mother.” We’re very similar; we both like to party, try to not take things so seriously, very respectful of other ppl, very friendly and social and have similar senses of humor. The respectful part is what impressed me about him. The first time I ever met him was with a mutual friend. Also, that night, part of the group was a couple of local guys. Nick and one of the guys was playing a popular drinking game here that revolves each person are to open and/ or close their hands as one of the people shouting out either “zero”, “five”, “ten”, “fifteen” and “twenty”. If the total amount of fingers showing b/w the two ppl matches the number the person guesses, that person wins that round, if he wins the next round, the other person drinks. At that particular time, Nick was “losing” and the other guy jokingly talking trash. Nick just smiles and put his hands together and sort of bow as to convey respect. I was impressed by the gesture. It was something he didn’t need to do, but clearly something he wanted to do.

Nick’s currently in the midst of dilemma. About a few months ago, he broke up with a girl that was madly in love with him. They sort of lived together (actually she had her own place and he stayed there a lot). But, as it happens to a lot of guys here, due to the overabundance of attractive women here as well as the easy access to them, Nick got restless and discontent with his relationship. So, he broke up with her. Almost immediately, he began dating a very cute girl who looks like a little like Rashida Jones. Well, a funny (and probably predictable) thing happened, he began to miss his ex. He missed her so much that he began to go to a popular ABC bar called Opus every night in hopes of running into her. Finally, he got his wish. She was there, but, in more fulfillment of his wish, they had a long talk about their current feelings for each other. A conversation that ended outside the bar and, worse, they ended up kissing. Now this bar is on a well-traffic street. His ex didn’t end up taking him back. Although she admitted she still loves him, but confessed she’s enjoying being free. But the freedom she spoke of is not necessarily only the freedom of being single, for her, it was the freedom of not constantly having to prove herself to him; the constant pressure where everything she did, said, wore, etc. was not good enough for him. And, naturally, she gravitated to a guy that, in her words, “accepted me for me”. Knowing Nick as I know him that must have hit him hard mainly b/c he knows it’s true. I’ve seen them together and there was always a sense that he was annoyed by and dissatisfied with her about something. I’ve been with a past girlfriend here and, I have to say, when we broke up, I remember the most overwhelming feeling I was experiencing, at the time, was one of relief.

Anyway, it only got worse for Nick recently b/c the ramifications of that fateful night manifested once again. During a recent night of drinking at Opus, “Rashida” called Nick and voiced the four dread words, “we need to talk”. She was out drinking with her friends; obviously having conservations that fueled the “need to talk”. Within minutes, she arrives. Sensing the tension of that “other shoe dropping”, I excused myself much to Nick’s insistence that I stay. Upon reflection, I did feel guilty that I didn’t see the request beyond its superficial meaning. Obviously, he had hoped that by me staying, “Rashida” won’t have “talk” with me there and then, I guess, magically forget to bring it out. Clearly, his reasoning was flawed and if I stayed, it would have only delayed the inevitable. Well, the inevitable happened. She broke up with him b/c someone saw Nick with his ex that fateful night.

Now, the thing about this “breakup” is that it had all the markings of a “wakeup call” breakup. I don’t know if it happens a lot in the US (my own dating/ girlfriend history has been spotty and I’ve never heard this phenomenon happen too often with my friends back home), but here in TW, women frequently break up with their boyfriends to test said boyfriend’s commitment to the relationship. It’s silly to think that this isn’t a universally-used ploy, but I have to say, based on my own experience as well as others, this is the go-to move for a lot of women here. Anyway, after she dropped the news, “Rashida” just seem to linger there with a concerned and hopeful look on her face. Concerned that he wasn’t too mad, too frustrated to completely dismiss the relationship and hopeful that he is mad enough that his impending reaction would be one she’s probably seen so often in Hollywood movies, one where he would figuratively (if not literally) chased after her and begged her to take him back. Unfortunately, for her, that reaction didn’t immediately come racing into Nick’s mind, heart, whatever. And she simply gingerly walked away leaving Nick in a state of frustration. But my initial impression of her “look” was confirmed as accurate when she called a few minutes later to discuss arrangements for Nick to get his stuff. As Nick coldly detailed when and what he was going to take, “Rashida” asked, “So, you want to break up with me then? You don’t love me?” Seriously, women….the games they play.