Yes, I know it’s been a looonnngg time since I wrote something, but since I’m probably the only one that reads this, who am I hurting, right?
Currently, my life hasn't been that different for the last few years. Although, I have lost a lot of good friends to common trend in Taipei, which is them moving either back to the US or moving to Shanghai. This is probably worst part about living here. Other than that, I just learn Chinese in the morning and work in the afternoon. And free time is dominated with poker (I host a weekly game), pool and watching US TV shows....and, of course, trying the future Ms.
Anyway, I decided to introduce some of the people I hang out with. Through them and some of our shared stories, you may or may not see how life in Taipei is.
Ted
Probably my best friend here. Ted is one of the two classic “foreigner” archetypes in TPE; he’s self-employed in trading industry (not baseball cards or comic books, but products where he would find buyers for manufacturers). The other archetype that is the most common: English teacher.
We frequently meet up and play hours and hours of pool. Probably the nicest guy in the world; would never do or say anything that is hurtful to any person. I can’t stress that more. A classic example is that he’s been in on-again, off-again relationship with a girl named Naomi. He knows she’s not right for him to the point that he doesn’t see himself marrying her. (She’s older, such at an age where having kids is more and more difficult. I guess she would qualify as a “cougar”.) Anyway, he’s constantly having problems ending it b/c he knows the breakup will hurt her too much and he doesn’t want to do that when it’s ridiculous to use that logic b/c breakups are almost always painful for one of or both parties.
What’s annoying for me is that I KNOW he can do better; not necessarily better-looking or whatever, but more compatible. But the thing is he doesn’t want to hurt her. To his credit, I acknowledge that, due to how long they’ve known each other and how they have been and are a part of each other’s lives, they are friends and one of the few people he hangs out with consistently. But, it’s annoying for me b/c he’s also one of the few people that I enjoy hanging out and it’s hard to go out and meet girls when subconsciously he’s not really interested in doing that.
Nick
My other good friend here. (See, this is the thing about me, I’m a very nice and friendly person and, thus, know all of people on a casual basis, but there are very few people who I enjoy hanging out with enough to call them out. Everyone else I’m comfortable with just running into them out and about every now and then.)
Nick is the classic ABC archetype. Actually, he’s a not true American Born Chinese; he’s more of an ARC (American Raised Chinese). He’s bilingual (something that I am endlessly jealous about), works for the family (almost every ABC that comes back to TPE works for the family), loves to drink and party and does pretty well with the ladies. Nick and I joke that we are “brothers from another mother.” We’re very similar; we both like to party, try to not take things so seriously, very respectful of other ppl, very friendly and social and have similar senses of humor. The respectful part is what impressed me about him. The first time I ever met him was with a mutual friend. Also, that night, part of the group was a couple of local guys. Nick and one of the guys was playing a popular drinking game here that revolves each person are to open and/ or close their hands as one of the people shouting out either “zero”, “five”, “ten”, “fifteen” and “twenty”. If the total amount of fingers showing b/w the two ppl matches the number the person guesses, that person wins that round, if he wins the next round, the other person drinks. At that particular time, Nick was “losing” and the other guy jokingly talking trash. Nick just smiles and put his hands together and sort of bow as to convey respect. I was impressed by the gesture. It was something he didn’t need to do, but clearly something he wanted to do.
Nick’s currently in the midst of dilemma. About a few months ago, he broke up with a girl that was madly in love with him. They sort of lived together (actually she had her own place and he stayed there a lot). But, as it happens to a lot of guys here, due to the overabundance of attractive women here as well as the easy access to them, Nick got restless and discontent with his relationship. So, he broke up with her. Almost immediately, he began dating a very cute girl who looks like a little like Rashida Jones. Well, a funny (and probably predictable) thing happened, he began to miss his ex. He missed her so much that he began to go to a popular ABC bar called Opus every night in hopes of running into her. Finally, he got his wish. She was there, but, in more fulfillment of his wish, they had a long talk about their current feelings for each other. A conversation that ended outside the bar and, worse, they ended up kissing. Now this bar is on a well-traffic street. His ex didn’t end up taking him back. Although she admitted she still loves him, but confessed she’s enjoying being free. But the freedom she spoke of is not necessarily only the freedom of being single, for her, it was the freedom of not constantly having to prove herself to him; the constant pressure where everything she did, said, wore, etc. was not good enough for him. And, naturally, she gravitated to a guy that, in her words, “accepted me for me”. Knowing Nick as I know him that must have hit him hard mainly b/c he knows it’s true. I’ve seen them together and there was always a sense that he was annoyed by and dissatisfied with her about something. I’ve been with a past girlfriend here and, I have to say, when we broke up, I remember the most overwhelming feeling I was experiencing, at the time, was one of relief.
Anyway, it only got worse for Nick recently b/c the ramifications of that fateful night manifested once again. During a recent night of drinking at Opus, “Rashida” called Nick and voiced the four dread words, “we need to talk”. She was out drinking with her friends; obviously having conservations that fueled the “need to talk”. Within minutes, she arrives. Sensing the tension of that “other shoe dropping”, I excused myself much to Nick’s insistence that I stay. Upon reflection, I did feel guilty that I didn’t see the request beyond its superficial meaning. Obviously, he had hoped that by me staying, “Rashida” won’t have “talk” with me there and then, I guess, magically forget to bring it out. Clearly, his reasoning was flawed and if I stayed, it would have only delayed the inevitable. Well, the inevitable happened. She broke up with him b/c someone saw Nick with his ex that fateful night.
Now, the thing about this “breakup” is that it had all the markings of a “wakeup call” breakup. I don’t know if it happens a lot in the US (my own dating/ girlfriend history has been spotty and I’ve never heard this phenomenon happen too often with my friends back home), but here in TW, women frequently break up with their boyfriends to test said boyfriend’s commitment to the relationship. It’s silly to think that this isn’t a universally-used ploy, but I have to say, based on my own experience as well as others, this is the go-to move for a lot of women here. Anyway, after she dropped the news, “Rashida” just seem to linger there with a concerned and hopeful look on her face. Concerned that he wasn’t too mad, too frustrated to completely dismiss the relationship and hopeful that he is mad enough that his impending reaction would be one she’s probably seen so often in Hollywood movies, one where he would figuratively (if not literally) chased after her and begged her to take him back. Unfortunately, for her, that reaction didn’t immediately come racing into Nick’s mind, heart, whatever. And she simply gingerly walked away leaving Nick in a state of frustration. But my initial impression of her “look” was confirmed as accurate when she called a few minutes later to discuss arrangements for Nick to get his stuff. As Nick coldly detailed when and what he was going to take, “Rashida” asked, “So, you want to break up with me then? You don’t love me?” Seriously, women….the games they play.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The Fall of a National Hero
Here, there is no bigger star than Wang Chien-Ming, or Chien-Ming Wang as he’s known in the US. It’s not a stretch to say he’s a bigger star than Michael Jordan is/ was in the US. His games are televised nationwide, many on public big screens to large audiences. In most newscasts, his is the only sports story (which actually says something b/c, from what I’m able to tell, the newscasts here are filled with a lot of fluff pieces seemingly advertising some store or restaurant offering a bargain, which I guess in the current economical climates does have its place). His image is everywhere endorsing McDonald's, Ford, E Sun Bank (one of the largest in Taiwan) and computer-maker Acer. His popularity can be reflected by this fact: the country's largest circulation daily, Apple Daily, estimates that it sells as many as 300,000 extra papers on days that carry reports of another Wang victory
Wang is a major star because, well, he deserves it. He gained initial prominence as the ace of the national team in 2004 Olympics. And then quickly rose through the Yankees’ minor system and has posted back-to-back 19 win seasons for the most popular baseball team in the world, the New York Yankees. He was even the runner-up for the Cy Young award in ‘07. But he has recently hit on rough times. A promising ’08 season was derailed when he broke his leg running the bases. And then he, once again, skipped a chance to represent his country in the World Baseball Classic, which resulted in some public backlash. And, now, after his third straight disastrous start this season, his ERA is 34.50.
Before this unfathomable bad stretch, he had already fallen in my eyes. When I found out that he was once again not representing his country in the WBC, I was greatly disappointed. It would have been the 1st time he pitched for his country since becoming a major star here. His presence would have been so meaningful because he wouldn’t have been pitching for a professional team in a foreign country, he would have been pitching for his countrymen. I mean, how often is someone given the opportunity to display pride for his country on such a stage where the entire public would take notice. It seems those opportunities are limited to sporting events such as the Olympics and the World Cup. Now, baseball has the World Baseball Classic and, to some countries such as Japan and Korea, it’s a pretty important event. Actually, given its prior dominance in the little league World Series, baseball is very popular sport here as well. Thus, Wang’s rise to superstardom here is not that surprising. I would surmise that even if a Taiwanese tennis player becomes a top 5 player, s/he would not be as popular and influential as Wang.
There are those who will argue that he needed the time to rehab his foot injury, but how would pitching three innings in one game at the WBC be any different than pitching a game in the Grapefruit League? Oh, I’ll tell you how. It would have reinvigorated a country currently embroiled in economic crisis and political uncertainty. And certainly three innings in a game vs. China would have been all that he would been permitted or asked to do b/c the Taiwan team would have not played more than the minimum three games (since Japan and Korea would have been too dominant not to advance to the next round of the WBC). The worst part of their performance is the loss to China, a country that is not only Taiwan’s political rival, but also only started seriously competing in baseball a little over eight years ago. For Taiwan, losing to China in baseball is similar to the US losing to any country in basketball. But that’s merely a sign of the times for baseball here in TW. The national team also failed miserably in the ’08 Olympics and professional baseball here, due to various game-fixing scandals in the past, gets attendances similar to minor league games in the US. Indeed, the once-proud fans of sport in their country have very little to smile about, which would have made it an ideal time for a hero. Sadly, it’s clearly a role Wang is happy to benefit from, but not one he wishes to actually play anymore.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Money talks better than I can
Recently, I wrote the “new breed” of women here who are clearly hunters preying on ever-hopeful guys looking for sex. Well, the thing that I’ve learned is these women are merely a product of system that support and perpetuate that sort of behavior. In terms of dating/ male-female relationships, gender roles here are much more clearly defined: men pay, women enjoy. Whereas in the US, some women might feel uncomfortable with a guy paying if that guy expects a little “sumthing, sumthing” at the end of the night, the women here unabashedly expects the man to pay for her (and, some times, her friends) without any sense of obligation or even gratitude of any sort (not even a simple “thank you” sometimes). It’s truly a game of give and take here where what’s given is clear (dinners, expensive presents, trips, apartment, etc.), but often times the “take” is not so clear. In fact, often times, it’s a one-way transaction, the guy “gives” and the woman “takes”. Clearly, the key is to realize it’s not a sprint, but a marathon. And that’s where I usually leave the “race”. I’m not one to continually drop cash on some girl just in hopes of wooing her. For me, things need to be a little more equitable. The girl needs to show some appreciation rather than entitlement, which many of these women do.
And the thing is you can’t blame them. (Well, you can, but that’s not point.) There are always guys willing to drop the cash. For example, there are places here called hostess clubs. You’ll find these places all over Asia. As the name might imply, basically, you go to a place that’s divided into rooms. You’re escorted into a room (that of course has a karaoke system) and then every 15 mins, a group of girls will come in and hang out with you. (I’ve gone once for a bachelor party.) During the 15 mins, you talk, drink and even fondle these girls, but no sex. (Although, it’s been established that you can take one of these girls home. You just need to pay a fee b/c the establishment needs to be compensated for the money she could be earning the place if she stayed.) Close to the end of the 15 mins, one of them will turn down the lights and turn on a strobe light and they gave a lap dance to their respective guy. After that, you decide if you want to keep that girl. (I forgot how you’re charged.) Anyway, a lot of these women are hot and a lot of guys (many of them married) here go to these places regularly and sort of “date” one of these girls. They end up taking them out to dinner, probably buy them gifts, etc. The funny thing is, which is where it differs drastically from the US, this is a pretty open and accepted practice. Everyone knows that the men here do this, even their wives who often adopted a “turn the right cheek” approach (probably because laws regarding divorce here are not very favorable toward women). These places are fairly out in the open. In fact, the building where I go with friends to shoot pool also has one of these places in it. I’ve seen a few of the girls and they are amazingly hot. I hear you can expect to spend at least NT$10,000 (US$300).
I brought up the above example to illustrate that with a lot of really attractive girls (especially, models and party girls), dating them is a lot like going to one of those hostess bars. It essentially resembles a straight up cash transaction. If you’re willing to spend the cash on these women, it doesn’t necessarily matter what you do, it certainly doesn’t matter what your personality is like or how you look, you can be with these women. And that might be true in the US (or anywhere else), but it’s definitely true here. You just need to be willing to do it.
LANGUAGE UPDATE
Ok, I think I’ve chronicle my attempts to speak the language. While I am an ABC, my Chinese is pretty bad. (Just ask any of my friends b/c they’ll be happy to tell you.) I’ve come to realize that it’s like my jump shot, if I’m hot and in zone, I can speak pretty well (especially if you can ignore the harsh American accent). But, if I ain’t feeling it, it’s like Shaq on the free throw line. Recently, I was in China for my grandmother’s birthday and my aunt from the US was there. I tried speaking Chinese with her and the look on her face was that of a 10 year-old kid getting socks for Christmas; an excited, anxious look that quickly dissipated into one of disappointment and embarrassment. Hopefully, next time, I’ll be in the zone.
And the thing is you can’t blame them. (Well, you can, but that’s not point.) There are always guys willing to drop the cash. For example, there are places here called hostess clubs. You’ll find these places all over Asia. As the name might imply, basically, you go to a place that’s divided into rooms. You’re escorted into a room (that of course has a karaoke system) and then every 15 mins, a group of girls will come in and hang out with you. (I’ve gone once for a bachelor party.) During the 15 mins, you talk, drink and even fondle these girls, but no sex. (Although, it’s been established that you can take one of these girls home. You just need to pay a fee b/c the establishment needs to be compensated for the money she could be earning the place if she stayed.) Close to the end of the 15 mins, one of them will turn down the lights and turn on a strobe light and they gave a lap dance to their respective guy. After that, you decide if you want to keep that girl. (I forgot how you’re charged.) Anyway, a lot of these women are hot and a lot of guys (many of them married) here go to these places regularly and sort of “date” one of these girls. They end up taking them out to dinner, probably buy them gifts, etc. The funny thing is, which is where it differs drastically from the US, this is a pretty open and accepted practice. Everyone knows that the men here do this, even their wives who often adopted a “turn the right cheek” approach (probably because laws regarding divorce here are not very favorable toward women). These places are fairly out in the open. In fact, the building where I go with friends to shoot pool also has one of these places in it. I’ve seen a few of the girls and they are amazingly hot. I hear you can expect to spend at least NT$10,000 (US$300).
I brought up the above example to illustrate that with a lot of really attractive girls (especially, models and party girls), dating them is a lot like going to one of those hostess bars. It essentially resembles a straight up cash transaction. If you’re willing to spend the cash on these women, it doesn’t necessarily matter what you do, it certainly doesn’t matter what your personality is like or how you look, you can be with these women. And that might be true in the US (or anywhere else), but it’s definitely true here. You just need to be willing to do it.
LANGUAGE UPDATE
Ok, I think I’ve chronicle my attempts to speak the language. While I am an ABC, my Chinese is pretty bad. (Just ask any of my friends b/c they’ll be happy to tell you.) I’ve come to realize that it’s like my jump shot, if I’m hot and in zone, I can speak pretty well (especially if you can ignore the harsh American accent). But, if I ain’t feeling it, it’s like Shaq on the free throw line. Recently, I was in China for my grandmother’s birthday and my aunt from the US was there. I tried speaking Chinese with her and the look on her face was that of a 10 year-old kid getting socks for Christmas; an excited, anxious look that quickly dissipated into one of disappointment and embarrassment. Hopefully, next time, I’ll be in the zone.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The New Breed
As I’ve alluded a few times already, the women here have certainly evolved and evolved quickly. When I first got here about four years ago, as well as all the other times I’ve come here to visit my grandparents, the women here always seem to be somewhat well-meaning and innocent (even bordering on naïve and gullible). It was fairly easy to meet a girl at a bar or club and get her number and then subsequently go out on a date. What was nice (and maybe this just happened to me) was that I felt like I earned that date for all the right reasons, with those being that she found me attractive and/ or interesting. The whole thing was very “Pleasantville”/ “Leave it to Beaver”-like. But that has all changed. Before, where these girls were like “wide-eyed innocent rookies” who were “just happy to be there”, now they are “well-seasoned veterans” expertly playing “the game” and using every trick in book such as “bait and switch”, “push and pull”, “sex sells”, and their love of the game is (to further continue the baseball analogy) motivated by money as it’s apparent a growing number are rating a guy’s attractiveness on how much money he makes, who his family is or who he knows. And I have to say, while not all that surprising, the change still comes as a shock.
To me, TW seems like a pretty conservative society. As I’ve said before, pornography appears to be strongly suppressed by the government. People aren’t overtly sexually in the way they dress or act (unless you’re talking about the under 21 demo). Even the pop stars here (male and female) cultivate a more wholesome image. Thus, I thought their attitudes toward dating, relationships and love were rather “Pleasantville”-like. Boy, was I wrong.
See, the thing I liked about dating in TW is that there was really no game-playing. As I said, before (like two years ago or earlier) the process was easy:
step 1 – meet the girl (at a bar or a club);
step 2 – talk and get her number;
step 3 – call her and set up a date;
step 4 – go on the date.
1-2-3-4, just like that. But, now, you have to repeat step 3 a few times before getting to step 4. And when I’m talking about repeating step 3, I’m not talking about calling her a few times, establishing the requisite comfort level for her to agree to go with you. No, I’m talking about calling her once, having a decent conversation, tentatively setting up a date only for her to say she’s uncertain about her availability on that date, and then indicated she would call later when she knows, only for her to eventually not make that call. After which, I will then call only for her to not only not pick up the call, but to also not return the call. (Hmm…now that I think about it, you’re not really repeating step 3; the process essentially ends at step 3, although I do call them again when they fail to make said phone call.)
Ok, I’m fine with the fact that she’s not interested, but then “why give me your number?” would be my counter. It begins to dawn on me that these women have become just like the women in the US. This sort of phenomenon would always happen to me there. Eventually, I came to realize that many of these women weren’t necessarily interested, but they were interested in the attention I would give via my calls, my interest. It makes sense, guys go out and, god willing, sleep with a woman whom they couldn’t care less about b/c it makes them feel good about themselves, strengthens their egos, fortifies their self-image. It’s only right that women be allowed to, in a sense, do the same thing, with the feeling of being vigorously pursued by a number of guys giving them the same boost as guys get from sleeping with numerous women. (Although it would please me to no end if women did the exact SAME thing. ;) )
Ok, so, it’s acknowledged that women in TW are capable of playing the game just as well as men, but this next story took me by surprise nonetheless.
I was playing pool and drinking with a buddy at one of my normal haunts, ironically complaining about my recent lack of success with women. I was complaining that I just haven’t been unable to establish a decent vibe with women. I tragically admit that I felt my “game”, my “talk” was boring. The whole time we were playing, there were two somewhat homely-looking women drinking at the bar.
Eventually, after finishing playing pool, we walked over to the bar to see if we can get anything going with the girls. My buddy, who can be rather out-going, started chatting with one of them. During a lull in conversation, I notice the girl take a quick glance at my friend. With that, I signaled our decision to stay a little longer by ordering drinks for me and my friend. Eventually, that girl (let’s call her Sherry) and my buddy went to play pool after she mentioned that she wanted to play with us earlier. This left me with her friend who was clearly wasted and was laboring to keep herself upright while sitting at the bar. Eventually, she mentioned she has just broken up with boyfriend, which explained why she was so drunk. After a little while, my buddy and Sherry came back. I made a reference to her about her friend’s breakup and asked if she has the same problem. The girl simply replied, “No”. I responded, “So, you don’t have a boyfriend?” She answered, “No, I do.” I then asked, “Is it the guy that just called.” (Her phone rang while she was playing pool.) She answered, “No, that’s another guy.” I shot her a surprised look. To which, she responded, “Girl has to have options.” I then jokingly said, “aahh, so, you’re one of those modern girls that has a lot of guys chasing her. Well, that’s too bad b/c I was going to ask you out.” Surprisingly, she replied with, “No, you have a chance.” I then replied, “well, what makes you think I want to ask you out now and just be one of your many.” I continued to play the part of not wanting to get involved with her, which only sparked her need for validation. She pressed for a number exchange. After feigning disinterest a few times, I exchanged numbers with her.
Shortly, a few seconds later, she returned her attention to her friend while I turned to talk to mine. And, all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see them, the two girls, making out. Ok, first, given that it’s TW, this sort of thing doesn’t happen that much, particularly, at the places I go to. Now, of course, as I’ve alluded to earlier, women here are evolving socially in the way they act, dress, think, talk, etc. and it only makes sense that this sort of thing does happens here, but, still, it’s TW. Also, they’re not just kissing, they were full-on making out with tongues flying all over the place. I was so shocked at what I saw that I had to voice it to them by saying, “whoa, whoa, do that again.” Then Sherry turned completely around and with a mischievous smile said, “you like that?” I said, “I’m a guy. Of course, I do.” The interesting thing about this was the way Sherry turned around and smiled at me after I said this as if to indicate that she, too, can be pleasantly surprised how different someone reveals himself to be compared to how you initially perceived himto be.
Picking up on Sherry’s growing attraction to me, I pulled her closer to me and said “I’ll tell you what. You kiss me and then you can kiss her.” Without missing a beat, Sherry moves in and we start making out. She then stops and held her finger up to indicate “wait”. She goes into her purse and grabs a mint, puts in her mouth and pulls me in and a mint exchange is underway. After awhile, we stopped and, in honoring our deal, she grabs the attention of her slumping friend and starts aggressively making out with her again. This time, she’s practically mounting her. Dorothy, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore!! My friend leans into me and comments that he thinks I might get a three-way tonight.
The night proceeds for another hour or so. I made out with Sherry a bit more. And then she mentioned that she needs to take her friend home. Fearing that I might lose an opportunity to turn an already memorable evening into an epic one, I told her to come back. She said she will. Eventually, the plan changed and the friend wasn’t going home. After some discussion of where to go with my place being rejected by her friend, we decided to go to this club called “Plush”. I then see her call for the bill. The waiter walks over and stands confused as to whom to give it to. Now, I’ve been in this situation before and the expectation is that the guy pays for it regardless of how many drinks he had, which was none other than a shot Sherry ordered for me and my friend (which can be easily interpreted as her buying us a round). Anyway, I used that moment as an opportunity to go to the bathroom. After I came out, my buddy told me that the girls paid and stormed off without even looking at my friend. When we got outside, the girls were both on the phone. Sherry was already walking in my direction when I tried to get her attention. Without even looking up at me, she turned away. She finished her phone call and tended to her friend. I walked up and said, “So, you ready (to go to the next place)”. Barely looking up at me, she coldly says, “It’s ok. I just called a cab. I’m going to take my friend home.” Stunned by the sudden turn of events, I walked over to my friend. After a few seconds, the girls walked right past us and went into a nearby club.
Now, I can’t help, but think that my only role in Sherry’s night was the one of kindly benefactor. But once it was clear that I was unwillingly to take that role, she made it clear that she had no time for me. The most shocking thing is how freely this girl used sex (or, at least, the promise of sex) as a means of having some guy (me in this instance) pay for her bill, which was likely US$100+. (After talking with some friends, it was pretty likely that even though I paid for that bill, I would never see that girl again.) Actually, this sort of thing is fairly commonplace. Another time, I met a “partygirl” at the same bar. She was flirting with me pretty heavily and I even made out with her in the cab. I asked her out for dinner. She asked if her friend could come. I said “yes”, but pushed the time to around 9pm, hoping that she and her friend would have eaten dinner by then and, thus, I would only be on the hook for the drinks. My plan failed. Both girls ordered food. And then they wanted to go to the bar I met her at. When we got there, another girl joined and more food and drinks were ordered. Sensing where the night was heading, after one drink, I told her I was tired and needed to leave. I asked her how much should I kick in. She immediately grabs the waiter and he prints out the bill. It was already at around NT$5000. I gave her NT$2000. The funny thing was I even felt bad about that at the time.
Anyway, the “game” has arrived in TW (or, more likely, it’s always been here and I’ve just been lucky I haven’t had to play it in the past). But, nonetheless, the “game” is here and don’t be fool, these women are not soft and cuddly character who giggle if you poke their stomachs like the Pillsbury Doughboy. No, they’re a whole different breed altogether.
To me, TW seems like a pretty conservative society. As I’ve said before, pornography appears to be strongly suppressed by the government. People aren’t overtly sexually in the way they dress or act (unless you’re talking about the under 21 demo). Even the pop stars here (male and female) cultivate a more wholesome image. Thus, I thought their attitudes toward dating, relationships and love were rather “Pleasantville”-like. Boy, was I wrong.
See, the thing I liked about dating in TW is that there was really no game-playing. As I said, before (like two years ago or earlier) the process was easy:
step 1 – meet the girl (at a bar or a club);
step 2 – talk and get her number;
step 3 – call her and set up a date;
step 4 – go on the date.
1-2-3-4, just like that. But, now, you have to repeat step 3 a few times before getting to step 4. And when I’m talking about repeating step 3, I’m not talking about calling her a few times, establishing the requisite comfort level for her to agree to go with you. No, I’m talking about calling her once, having a decent conversation, tentatively setting up a date only for her to say she’s uncertain about her availability on that date, and then indicated she would call later when she knows, only for her to eventually not make that call. After which, I will then call only for her to not only not pick up the call, but to also not return the call. (Hmm…now that I think about it, you’re not really repeating step 3; the process essentially ends at step 3, although I do call them again when they fail to make said phone call.)
Ok, I’m fine with the fact that she’s not interested, but then “why give me your number?” would be my counter. It begins to dawn on me that these women have become just like the women in the US. This sort of phenomenon would always happen to me there. Eventually, I came to realize that many of these women weren’t necessarily interested, but they were interested in the attention I would give via my calls, my interest. It makes sense, guys go out and, god willing, sleep with a woman whom they couldn’t care less about b/c it makes them feel good about themselves, strengthens their egos, fortifies their self-image. It’s only right that women be allowed to, in a sense, do the same thing, with the feeling of being vigorously pursued by a number of guys giving them the same boost as guys get from sleeping with numerous women. (Although it would please me to no end if women did the exact SAME thing. ;) )
Ok, so, it’s acknowledged that women in TW are capable of playing the game just as well as men, but this next story took me by surprise nonetheless.
I was playing pool and drinking with a buddy at one of my normal haunts, ironically complaining about my recent lack of success with women. I was complaining that I just haven’t been unable to establish a decent vibe with women. I tragically admit that I felt my “game”, my “talk” was boring. The whole time we were playing, there were two somewhat homely-looking women drinking at the bar.
Eventually, after finishing playing pool, we walked over to the bar to see if we can get anything going with the girls. My buddy, who can be rather out-going, started chatting with one of them. During a lull in conversation, I notice the girl take a quick glance at my friend. With that, I signaled our decision to stay a little longer by ordering drinks for me and my friend. Eventually, that girl (let’s call her Sherry) and my buddy went to play pool after she mentioned that she wanted to play with us earlier. This left me with her friend who was clearly wasted and was laboring to keep herself upright while sitting at the bar. Eventually, she mentioned she has just broken up with boyfriend, which explained why she was so drunk. After a little while, my buddy and Sherry came back. I made a reference to her about her friend’s breakup and asked if she has the same problem. The girl simply replied, “No”. I responded, “So, you don’t have a boyfriend?” She answered, “No, I do.” I then asked, “Is it the guy that just called.” (Her phone rang while she was playing pool.) She answered, “No, that’s another guy.” I shot her a surprised look. To which, she responded, “Girl has to have options.” I then jokingly said, “aahh, so, you’re one of those modern girls that has a lot of guys chasing her. Well, that’s too bad b/c I was going to ask you out.” Surprisingly, she replied with, “No, you have a chance.” I then replied, “well, what makes you think I want to ask you out now and just be one of your many.” I continued to play the part of not wanting to get involved with her, which only sparked her need for validation. She pressed for a number exchange. After feigning disinterest a few times, I exchanged numbers with her.
Shortly, a few seconds later, she returned her attention to her friend while I turned to talk to mine. And, all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see them, the two girls, making out. Ok, first, given that it’s TW, this sort of thing doesn’t happen that much, particularly, at the places I go to. Now, of course, as I’ve alluded to earlier, women here are evolving socially in the way they act, dress, think, talk, etc. and it only makes sense that this sort of thing does happens here, but, still, it’s TW. Also, they’re not just kissing, they were full-on making out with tongues flying all over the place. I was so shocked at what I saw that I had to voice it to them by saying, “whoa, whoa, do that again.” Then Sherry turned completely around and with a mischievous smile said, “you like that?” I said, “I’m a guy. Of course, I do.” The interesting thing about this was the way Sherry turned around and smiled at me after I said this as if to indicate that she, too, can be pleasantly surprised how different someone reveals himself to be compared to how you initially perceived himto be.
Picking up on Sherry’s growing attraction to me, I pulled her closer to me and said “I’ll tell you what. You kiss me and then you can kiss her.” Without missing a beat, Sherry moves in and we start making out. She then stops and held her finger up to indicate “wait”. She goes into her purse and grabs a mint, puts in her mouth and pulls me in and a mint exchange is underway. After awhile, we stopped and, in honoring our deal, she grabs the attention of her slumping friend and starts aggressively making out with her again. This time, she’s practically mounting her. Dorothy, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore!! My friend leans into me and comments that he thinks I might get a three-way tonight.
The night proceeds for another hour or so. I made out with Sherry a bit more. And then she mentioned that she needs to take her friend home. Fearing that I might lose an opportunity to turn an already memorable evening into an epic one, I told her to come back. She said she will. Eventually, the plan changed and the friend wasn’t going home. After some discussion of where to go with my place being rejected by her friend, we decided to go to this club called “Plush”. I then see her call for the bill. The waiter walks over and stands confused as to whom to give it to. Now, I’ve been in this situation before and the expectation is that the guy pays for it regardless of how many drinks he had, which was none other than a shot Sherry ordered for me and my friend (which can be easily interpreted as her buying us a round). Anyway, I used that moment as an opportunity to go to the bathroom. After I came out, my buddy told me that the girls paid and stormed off without even looking at my friend. When we got outside, the girls were both on the phone. Sherry was already walking in my direction when I tried to get her attention. Without even looking up at me, she turned away. She finished her phone call and tended to her friend. I walked up and said, “So, you ready (to go to the next place)”. Barely looking up at me, she coldly says, “It’s ok. I just called a cab. I’m going to take my friend home.” Stunned by the sudden turn of events, I walked over to my friend. After a few seconds, the girls walked right past us and went into a nearby club.
Now, I can’t help, but think that my only role in Sherry’s night was the one of kindly benefactor. But once it was clear that I was unwillingly to take that role, she made it clear that she had no time for me. The most shocking thing is how freely this girl used sex (or, at least, the promise of sex) as a means of having some guy (me in this instance) pay for her bill, which was likely US$100+. (After talking with some friends, it was pretty likely that even though I paid for that bill, I would never see that girl again.) Actually, this sort of thing is fairly commonplace. Another time, I met a “partygirl” at the same bar. She was flirting with me pretty heavily and I even made out with her in the cab. I asked her out for dinner. She asked if her friend could come. I said “yes”, but pushed the time to around 9pm, hoping that she and her friend would have eaten dinner by then and, thus, I would only be on the hook for the drinks. My plan failed. Both girls ordered food. And then they wanted to go to the bar I met her at. When we got there, another girl joined and more food and drinks were ordered. Sensing where the night was heading, after one drink, I told her I was tired and needed to leave. I asked her how much should I kick in. She immediately grabs the waiter and he prints out the bill. It was already at around NT$5000. I gave her NT$2000. The funny thing was I even felt bad about that at the time.
Anyway, the “game” has arrived in TW (or, more likely, it’s always been here and I’ve just been lucky I haven’t had to play it in the past). But, nonetheless, the “game” is here and don’t be fool, these women are not soft and cuddly character who giggle if you poke their stomachs like the Pillsbury Doughboy. No, they’re a whole different breed altogether.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
尾牙 ("Wei Ya") - Company Chinese New Year party
Obviously, in Chinese culture, Chinese New Year is a big deal. In terms of National and cultural significance, it’s their Christmas and New Year combined. At least, in terms of amount of granted days off from work. CNY usually occurs at the end of January or beginning of February. Here in TW, we’re given five work days off.
Another area of similarity with Christmas is the party. In the US, the big year-end party coincides with Christmas. In Taiwan, it coincides with CNY and it’s called a “Wei Ya”. With most companies, a “wei ya” consist of a big banquet dinner, prize drawing (usually for US$100 and up coupons to one of the major department stores) and a lot of drinking. The drinking aspect is a little surprising to me. It’s not so much that they’re drinking, it’s the amount. These people are getting wasted. At these year-end parties, people use drinking to celebrate the year that’s past as well as toast the year ahead. I can’t be certain, but it seems like it’s unbecoming to drink alone. Obviously, I don’t mean “drink alone” as being at some dingy bar drowning your sorrows, but I’ve notice that people (at least, at these type of events) rarely sit there and take a sip by themselves as I was doing that all night. Everyone would make it a social activity and drink only when they toasted with someone else.
What I found interesting was this prevailing vibe that people drank and partied w/o a care or concern of how it might reflect upon them the next day in the office. Like I said people are getting wasted, some were dancing the table. But before your mind envisions something out of “Coyote Ugly”, it was very innocent G-rated dancing. To me, it seems like, in the US, people purposely restrained themselves a little because they are concerned with purporting an image of an irresponsible boozer and partier, which, at some companies, might inhibit their ability to rise in the organization. It seems like here, there is an understanding that everyone gets a free pass to let loose at these parties, have a “stays in Vegas” mindset. Now, of course, being it’s TW, a relatively conservative society, people aren’t pushing the limits of appropriate behavior like “hooking up” or flashing, so the fear of something scandalous happening are minimal.
Now, I work at a big company, probably one of the biggest in TW. So, our Wei Ya is always a huge production. In the past, it was at the Taipei Arena. This year, it was at a newly built exhibition hall. There were 380 tables that seated 10 people each. Throughout the evening, there was a live show complete with hosts and singers, it’s like one of those variety shows you see here on TV. And I’m not talking about some hired singer from a bar or lounge somewhere. I’m talking about actual well-known recording artists. Now, since I’m more American than Chinese (or Taiwanese, in this case), I don’t recognize any of the artists. 
Regardless of missing out on the enjoyment of knowing who they are, it’s fun to watch the president and CEO of the company each get up there and sing with one of the singers. (Btw, you’ll quickly know that people love to sing here. Perhaps the most popular place to go is a KTV where get a room and sing to their heart’s content and, sometimes, to my ears’ dismay. Naturally, you can order food, which is pretty inexpensive, and beer.)
Now, maybe what I’ve described isn’t too different from a company Christmas party in the US because, honestly, I can only remember one, if memory serves, it wasn’t a company-wide extravaganza, but more a small department only party. Anyway, I find it hard to believe that a company Xmas party in the US would have the size and importance of a “wei ya” here. As I alluded before, these “wei ya” are a way for the company to say thanks to their hard-working employees as well as rally them to carry with the same hard work in the coming year. And, what I saw, they appreciated every moment of it.
Another area of similarity with Christmas is the party. In the US, the big year-end party coincides with Christmas. In Taiwan, it coincides with CNY and it’s called a “Wei Ya”. With most companies, a “wei ya” consist of a big banquet dinner, prize drawing (usually for US$100 and up coupons to one of the major department stores) and a lot of drinking. The drinking aspect is a little surprising to me. It’s not so much that they’re drinking, it’s the amount. These people are getting wasted. At these year-end parties, people use drinking to celebrate the year that’s past as well as toast the year ahead. I can’t be certain, but it seems like it’s unbecoming to drink alone. Obviously, I don’t mean “drink alone” as being at some dingy bar drowning your sorrows, but I’ve notice that people (at least, at these type of events) rarely sit there and take a sip by themselves as I was doing that all night. Everyone would make it a social activity and drink only when they toasted with someone else.
What I found interesting was this prevailing vibe that people drank and partied w/o a care or concern of how it might reflect upon them the next day in the office. Like I said people are getting wasted, some were dancing the table. But before your mind envisions something out of “Coyote Ugly”, it was very innocent G-rated dancing. To me, it seems like, in the US, people purposely restrained themselves a little because they are concerned with purporting an image of an irresponsible boozer and partier, which, at some companies, might inhibit their ability to rise in the organization. It seems like here, there is an understanding that everyone gets a free pass to let loose at these parties, have a “stays in Vegas” mindset. Now, of course, being it’s TW, a relatively conservative society, people aren’t pushing the limits of appropriate behavior like “hooking up” or flashing, so the fear of something scandalous happening are minimal.
Now, I work at a big company, probably one of the biggest in TW. So, our Wei Ya is always a huge production. In the past, it was at the Taipei Arena. This year, it was at a newly built exhibition hall. There were 380 tables that seated 10 people each. Throughout the evening, there was a live show complete with hosts and singers, it’s like one of those variety shows you see here on TV. And I’m not talking about some hired singer from a bar or lounge somewhere. I’m talking about actual well-known recording artists. Now, since I’m more American than Chinese (or Taiwanese, in this case), I don’t recognize any of the artists. 
Regardless of missing out on the enjoyment of knowing who they are, it’s fun to watch the president and CEO of the company each get up there and sing with one of the singers. (Btw, you’ll quickly know that people love to sing here. Perhaps the most popular place to go is a KTV where get a room and sing to their heart’s content and, sometimes, to my ears’ dismay. Naturally, you can order food, which is pretty inexpensive, and beer.)Now, maybe what I’ve described isn’t too different from a company Christmas party in the US because, honestly, I can only remember one, if memory serves, it wasn’t a company-wide extravaganza, but more a small department only party. Anyway, I find it hard to believe that a company Xmas party in the US would have the size and importance of a “wei ya” here. As I alluded before, these “wei ya” are a way for the company to say thanks to their hard-working employees as well as rally them to carry with the same hard work in the coming year. And, what I saw, they appreciated every moment of it.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
1st impressions....three years later
Below is a post I wrote three years ago, a year after I moved here. I wrote five things I like about TPE and five things I missed about the US. In bold, I wrote my present impressions on some of those things, just to see my opinion has changed in three years.
(Originally posted on September 30th, 2005)
Last year, I did something I thought I would never do: I moved permanently to Taiwan. Without getting into much detail as to the reason why, I felt it was important to be with mom. But I also felt moving to Asia would be a good move career-wise with the rise of China as an economic power. After being here almost a year, I have to say Taipei has turned out to be a great place to live. Growing up, I didn’t always think that way. From my frequent visits to Taipei to visit my grandparents and subsequently my parents, I always viewed Taipei to be a hot, dirty and smelly under-developed city. Even during the country’s economic boom in the 80s and even 90s, Taipei never reflected the image of a modern, metropolitan city (as much as the country itself would hope to be viewed as modern independent country). But a couple of developments have given Taipei a more modern facelift: its mass rapid transit system and Taipei101 building. The rapid transit system has also seem to indirectly changed the social behavior of the citizens as people are more considerate in abiding by posted queuing guidelines as well as keeping the transit and its stations clean and free of litter. The result of these apparent changes in behavior can be seen outside of the transit stations as overall there is less litter and trash on the street than I can remember. Also, there is less nose-picking and “air” nose-blowing and spitting. More so now than in the past, people here seem to care a little more about how not only their city is being perceived, but how they are being perceived.
With that in mind, here are 5 things (in no particular order) I like about life in Taipei (so far):
1. People here are very nice and friendly. Being a foreigner trying to learn the local language, it’s so easy to be a source of intolerable frustration and ridicule because, after all, that’s how Americans treat foreigners in the states. But, here, I’ve only been met with encouragement and patience. Also, people are very polite and considerate. More often than not, if someone inadvertently bumps into you, he will immediately raise his hand and/ or bow his head apologetically. There is a refreshing lack of attitude and overall sense of entitlement that is suffocatingly pervasive in the states. For example, I have yet to witness a fight in any bar or club here, whereas in the states, you can get into a confrontation just from looking at someone. People just seem to pursue happiness more earnestly here and, thus, look to sidestep any possible confrontation as it would just interfere with that pursuit.
One of the drawbacks of learning and practicing to speak Chinese here is that people here are so polite and so intent of being helpful that as soon as they hear my mangled, heavily American-accented Chinese come out, they immediately reply in their equally mangled, heavily accented English. Now, of course, these people could merely be seizing a rare opportunity to practice their English, but I prefer to think that it’s more to do with their innate nature of “helping their follow man”. I maintain that you wouldn’t really need to speak Chinese to get by here. And many people have been doing so.
Also, in a refreshing change, almost every quasi-famous or well-connected (i.e. party promoter, bar owner, minor celebrity, relative of celebrity, etc.) person I’ve met have been some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. For example, one guy is the promoter of one of the hottest weekly parties in TPE. The first time I went to one of his parties, he came over to where me and some friends were sitting and introduced himself, sat down talked with us for awhile and, overall, made sure we were having a good time. Even now, anytime I want to go to his parties, all I have to do is call him beforehand and he’ll make sure to get me in. That has never happened to me in US and even I know the guy that threw the “Absolute” parties in SF and he acted as if he could care less if I was there. Another guy is the brother of the #1 model in TW and he also couldn’t be nicer.
Samuel Johnson, the man who brought us the “Dictionary of the English Language”, once said, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” That definitely applies to these people.
2. Women here are beautiful. This is the biggest change that I’ve noticed. In the past, I use to be down on how Chinese women looked. I always felt that they couldn’t compare with other Asian ethnicities. Now, I think they’re just as beautiful. I think this change came about as a result of people here attaining a higher standard of living that allows them the ability to purchase nice clothes and cosmetics as well as an increasing proliferation of pop culture that has helped influence their style.
This hasn’t changed over the last three years. An additional bonus with the women here is that comparatively to other women in the world such as women in Shanghai, HK or the US, the women are not as pretentious and shallow. Now, of course, TW has its share of gold-diggers, but, to me, it’s not as pronounced as it appears to be in HK and Shanghai, for instance. What I find refreshing is that, for the most part, the women here give you a chance and are not so quick to dismiss you based on how much they think you make or other material status indicators. But, one negative thing about the “evolution” of the women here is that more and more of them are aware of the power they have and routinely juggled a numerous suitors.
3. Always something to do. I guess, like any major city, there is an endless list of bars, restaurants and clubs to go to and Taipei is no different. I’m reminded of the movie “About a Boy” where Hugh Grant’s character is always going to these cool, modern and hip places, which seem to belie the drab London cityscape.
Taipei is sort of the same thing. Some of the places I have gone to are places you would expect to see in LA, SF or NYC. I would almost have to walk outside to make sure I was indeed in Taipei. But, unlike LA (which was the last place I lived at before moving here), you don’t have to be celebrity or be friends with a party promoter (like you do in SF) to feel like you can experience the best nightlife this city has to offer. A particular advantage for me here is that everything is a short cab ride away, which makes going out so much easier and less of a headache. I was just thinking the other day: how can a guy in his mid-20s living in NYC ever get any work done, much less, even go to work?!?!
I guess the one bad thing about TPE is that it doesn’t have all that many big clubs or “hot spots”. Club-wise, there are only five big ones (18, Luxy, Plush, Primo and Mint; Mint, at this point, has become the UPN of clubs here). Bar-wise, the most popular, by a landslide, is Barcode. Barcode is aided by the fact that it’s upstairs from 18 in the popular Neo 19 building that houses Chili’s and Macaroni Grill (which is much more upscale-y here than its US counterparts; think Maggiano’s Little Italy). But what TPE lacks in quantity, it makes up for in vibrant-ness. I’ve hear from HK people that the party scene is better b/c it’s less of a scene and more of a party.
After visiting Shanghai a few times, I think I might have overstated the cool and hip-ness of some of the bars and clubs here. If anyone has been to XinTianDi and the Bund will know that TPE doesn’t have anything of that size and eye-popping architecture. I think TPE compares favorably to San Francisco where there are many nice, small- to medium-sized places tucked within the city.
4. So easy to meet people. I don’t know if this is a byproduct of living in a big city or of being an American in an Asian city, but it’s just effortless. The best part is that most of the people I’ve met have turned out to be really cool people who have been tremendously selfless and unassuming (compared to some of my lifelong friends back in the states (more on that some other time)).
Well, this hasn’t changed much either. The thing about being an English-speaking foreigner is that you end up going to all the same places as other English-speaking foreigners and most people here are open to meeting new people b/c they, like you, don’t have a built-in group of friends that they grew up with. Everyone is pretty much starting over here. TPE’s expat community (even the locals that hang out in these circles) is, in some respects, like a college campus. You end up seeing the same people over and over again.
5. Food. First, I love Chinese food. It’s my favorite type of food because of its endless variety of dishes. So, obviously, I’m in the right place. I’ve come to realize that people love to eat here. I don’t know if it’s more than people in the states, but it sure seems like it. For example, it seems like, at every outdoor event, a least half of the booths are for foods. In addition, there are numerous night markets and shopping malls with food courts five times the size of those in the US. Also, unlike the states, you can find something good to eat at a modest budget. What’s doubly good for me is that I get to eat my mom’s cooking all the time. Thus, these factors make it rough for a 30-something like myself who’s fighting my body’s desire to look like a pear.
I think one of the things that helped me make my decision to move here (or, at least, make it easier for me to transition over here) was the growing presence of American and Italian restaurants. In addition to Chili’s, TGIFriday’s, Outback and a number of smaller privately-owned restaurants, TPE has added Macaroni Grill, Gordon Biersch, The Diner (a privately-owned restaurant that serves, as the name implies, diner-type food; the 1st one was so popular, another one opened shortly after), numerous burger joints and even a pizza-by-the-slice place. The one thing about TPE is that people have not gotten tired of western cuisine, particularly casual dining. For now, it seems that these places are recession-proof as with every place that opens, the place is consistently full. Although, there still needs to be more Mexican (I can only think of two or three places). Also, it’s my belief that Jamba Juice would kill here.
5 things I miss about life in the US
1. My sister and her daughter Maile. Maile is the closest thing to my own kid (in that I have full access to watch her grow) and I hate that I’m not there to watch it happen. Last time I was there, I was blown away by seeing her stand and walk (even run). I still remember her running up to my sister and hugging her from behind. It was such a simple moment, but for me, to see my sister’s daughter act that way to my sister, it was unforgettable.
The only thing that has changed is that my sister has popped out two more kids (one just recently). Her daughter Maile is still adorable as ever and her 2nd, a boy, is just a riot and a joy to be around.
2. Driving. I miss driving mostly because I miss driving my dog around, the way she would seat in the front seat and then when I roll down the window, she get up and stick her head out. Also, the sight of her sitting in the driver seat when I come back to the car looking at me as if to say “you look tired, maybe I should drive.”
3. Dog parks. I love watching my dog run around leash-free and interacting with other dogs. Also, going to the dog park represents an opportunity of me to read, which I can’t do at home because when I’m around a TV, I don’t do anything else but watch TV, which leads me to…
4. TV, more specifically Tivo. Actually, the viewing options here are not that bad. There are about seven English channels here including HBO and Cinemax (without the sex though). They mostly (if not) only show movies although one channel airs a TV show such as Nip/Tuck (great show) and Monk at 10pm weeknights and another airs shows like Fear Factor, CSI and Lost. There are three sports channels, but due to regional preferences, they show a lot of billiards, Formula 1, tennis and local baseball and basketball. What’s kind of annoying sometimes is they’ll show an otherwise unremarkable game over and over again. For example, over a recent weekend, they showed a Braves-Marlins game at least four times. Sometimes, the replays (of the game) are just separated by a few hours! It’s particularly frustrating because I would like to see more European soccer. Anyway, as any Tivo owner knows, much of my frustrations could be solved with Tivo.
5. Food. I know I just raved about it, but, being born and raised in the US, there is obviously some food that I miss such as Mexican food. It’s interesting that there is a lot of foreign cuisine here such as Japanese, Korean, Singaporean, French and Italian, but no Mexican. I’ve recently been craving some Baja Fresh. I ate at a restaurant that serves Mexican food and I’m willing to bet that they bought their chimicagas at Costco (which they do have here) instead of making it themselves. I also miss good old American cookies. The way they make chocolate chip cookies out here, they shouldn’t be allowed to call it chocolate chip cookies.
Not much has changed with any of these. In fact, I actually miss the US less. Even the TV options have gotten better here. I have since been able to get Star World, which is a channel that airs a lot of US TV shows such as American Idol, Heroes, How I met your Mom, Simpsons, Friends, Seinfeld, Jimmy Kimmel Live. Actually, this might be a good time introduce what programming we get here.
There are about eleven channels that air US shows. First off, we have HBO and Cinemax (w/o the late-night soft-core porn; TW is a fairly conservative society and one of the areas reflective of that is pornography, it’s nowhere near as accessible as it is in the US). The bad thing about the programming here is that a lot of the movies are edited to not include any nudity and even some profanity or heavy sexually suggestive dialogue. (btw, here is a hilarious clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp4QVYNAFcQ) of what one show would be like if it was heavily edited. Fortunately, it’s not that bad in TW.)) There is also Discovery, National Geographic and Animal Planet, although everything on Animal Planet is dubbed in Chinese. There is also Star Movie which, naturally, airs movies. Their catalog of movies is second to HBO here. There is also AXN, which airs both movies and TV shows. Some of the shows are all the CSIs, Chuck (love this show), X-Files, Damages, Numbers, Asia version of Amazing Race and even Slamball. Interesting mix, huh? Another channel is called Hollywood, which airs pretty much B-movies that you probably didn’t know existed. The best movie this channel has aired is “Family Man” with Nicolas Cage (which is a very underrated movie, imo). Then there is Videoland Max, which carries a mix of movies (some decent ones), WWE wrestling and Sex and the City episodes. Finally, there’s one with a Chinese name that only airs movies, which are all pretty decent. Right up there with Star Movies, in terms of quality. For example, “Shawshank Redemption” can often be seen here. The funny thing about the programming here is that often you can see two movies starring the same actor running simultaneously. For example, on one channel, there will be “Meet Joe Black” with Brad Pitt and then, running at the same time on another channel is “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”. This happens almost all the time. Anyway, if you want to see what the programming is like here, you can go here: http://www.chinapost.com.tw/tvguide/.
Sports-wise, you get a lot of pool/ billiards, more soccer and NBA and college hoops (although not the NCAA tournament), all the Yankee games (due to TW’s favorite son Chien Ming-Wang’s presence on the team), the local pro basketball and baseball leagues here, tennis, table tennis, golf and auto-racing. Recently, I’ve seen some college football, but it usually airs at around 3:00am. There isn’t any NFL here.
(Originally posted on September 30th, 2005)
Last year, I did something I thought I would never do: I moved permanently to Taiwan. Without getting into much detail as to the reason why, I felt it was important to be with mom. But I also felt moving to Asia would be a good move career-wise with the rise of China as an economic power. After being here almost a year, I have to say Taipei has turned out to be a great place to live. Growing up, I didn’t always think that way. From my frequent visits to Taipei to visit my grandparents and subsequently my parents, I always viewed Taipei to be a hot, dirty and smelly under-developed city. Even during the country’s economic boom in the 80s and even 90s, Taipei never reflected the image of a modern, metropolitan city (as much as the country itself would hope to be viewed as modern independent country). But a couple of developments have given Taipei a more modern facelift: its mass rapid transit system and Taipei101 building. The rapid transit system has also seem to indirectly changed the social behavior of the citizens as people are more considerate in abiding by posted queuing guidelines as well as keeping the transit and its stations clean and free of litter. The result of these apparent changes in behavior can be seen outside of the transit stations as overall there is less litter and trash on the street than I can remember. Also, there is less nose-picking and “air” nose-blowing and spitting. More so now than in the past, people here seem to care a little more about how not only their city is being perceived, but how they are being perceived.
With that in mind, here are 5 things (in no particular order) I like about life in Taipei (so far):
1. People here are very nice and friendly. Being a foreigner trying to learn the local language, it’s so easy to be a source of intolerable frustration and ridicule because, after all, that’s how Americans treat foreigners in the states. But, here, I’ve only been met with encouragement and patience. Also, people are very polite and considerate. More often than not, if someone inadvertently bumps into you, he will immediately raise his hand and/ or bow his head apologetically. There is a refreshing lack of attitude and overall sense of entitlement that is suffocatingly pervasive in the states. For example, I have yet to witness a fight in any bar or club here, whereas in the states, you can get into a confrontation just from looking at someone. People just seem to pursue happiness more earnestly here and, thus, look to sidestep any possible confrontation as it would just interfere with that pursuit.
One of the drawbacks of learning and practicing to speak Chinese here is that people here are so polite and so intent of being helpful that as soon as they hear my mangled, heavily American-accented Chinese come out, they immediately reply in their equally mangled, heavily accented English. Now, of course, these people could merely be seizing a rare opportunity to practice their English, but I prefer to think that it’s more to do with their innate nature of “helping their follow man”. I maintain that you wouldn’t really need to speak Chinese to get by here. And many people have been doing so.
Also, in a refreshing change, almost every quasi-famous or well-connected (i.e. party promoter, bar owner, minor celebrity, relative of celebrity, etc.) person I’ve met have been some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. For example, one guy is the promoter of one of the hottest weekly parties in TPE. The first time I went to one of his parties, he came over to where me and some friends were sitting and introduced himself, sat down talked with us for awhile and, overall, made sure we were having a good time. Even now, anytime I want to go to his parties, all I have to do is call him beforehand and he’ll make sure to get me in. That has never happened to me in US and even I know the guy that threw the “Absolute” parties in SF and he acted as if he could care less if I was there. Another guy is the brother of the #1 model in TW and he also couldn’t be nicer.
Samuel Johnson, the man who brought us the “Dictionary of the English Language”, once said, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” That definitely applies to these people.
2. Women here are beautiful. This is the biggest change that I’ve noticed. In the past, I use to be down on how Chinese women looked. I always felt that they couldn’t compare with other Asian ethnicities. Now, I think they’re just as beautiful. I think this change came about as a result of people here attaining a higher standard of living that allows them the ability to purchase nice clothes and cosmetics as well as an increasing proliferation of pop culture that has helped influence their style.
This hasn’t changed over the last three years. An additional bonus with the women here is that comparatively to other women in the world such as women in Shanghai, HK or the US, the women are not as pretentious and shallow. Now, of course, TW has its share of gold-diggers, but, to me, it’s not as pronounced as it appears to be in HK and Shanghai, for instance. What I find refreshing is that, for the most part, the women here give you a chance and are not so quick to dismiss you based on how much they think you make or other material status indicators. But, one negative thing about the “evolution” of the women here is that more and more of them are aware of the power they have and routinely juggled a numerous suitors.
3. Always something to do. I guess, like any major city, there is an endless list of bars, restaurants and clubs to go to and Taipei is no different. I’m reminded of the movie “About a Boy” where Hugh Grant’s character is always going to these cool, modern and hip places, which seem to belie the drab London cityscape.
Taipei is sort of the same thing. Some of the places I have gone to are places you would expect to see in LA, SF or NYC. I would almost have to walk outside to make sure I was indeed in Taipei. But, unlike LA (which was the last place I lived at before moving here), you don’t have to be celebrity or be friends with a party promoter (like you do in SF) to feel like you can experience the best nightlife this city has to offer. A particular advantage for me here is that everything is a short cab ride away, which makes going out so much easier and less of a headache. I was just thinking the other day: how can a guy in his mid-20s living in NYC ever get any work done, much less, even go to work?!?!
I guess the one bad thing about TPE is that it doesn’t have all that many big clubs or “hot spots”. Club-wise, there are only five big ones (18, Luxy, Plush, Primo and Mint; Mint, at this point, has become the UPN of clubs here). Bar-wise, the most popular, by a landslide, is Barcode. Barcode is aided by the fact that it’s upstairs from 18 in the popular Neo 19 building that houses Chili’s and Macaroni Grill (which is much more upscale-y here than its US counterparts; think Maggiano’s Little Italy). But what TPE lacks in quantity, it makes up for in vibrant-ness. I’ve hear from HK people that the party scene is better b/c it’s less of a scene and more of a party.
After visiting Shanghai a few times, I think I might have overstated the cool and hip-ness of some of the bars and clubs here. If anyone has been to XinTianDi and the Bund will know that TPE doesn’t have anything of that size and eye-popping architecture. I think TPE compares favorably to San Francisco where there are many nice, small- to medium-sized places tucked within the city.
4. So easy to meet people. I don’t know if this is a byproduct of living in a big city or of being an American in an Asian city, but it’s just effortless. The best part is that most of the people I’ve met have turned out to be really cool people who have been tremendously selfless and unassuming (compared to some of my lifelong friends back in the states (more on that some other time)).
Well, this hasn’t changed much either. The thing about being an English-speaking foreigner is that you end up going to all the same places as other English-speaking foreigners and most people here are open to meeting new people b/c they, like you, don’t have a built-in group of friends that they grew up with. Everyone is pretty much starting over here. TPE’s expat community (even the locals that hang out in these circles) is, in some respects, like a college campus. You end up seeing the same people over and over again.
5. Food. First, I love Chinese food. It’s my favorite type of food because of its endless variety of dishes. So, obviously, I’m in the right place. I’ve come to realize that people love to eat here. I don’t know if it’s more than people in the states, but it sure seems like it. For example, it seems like, at every outdoor event, a least half of the booths are for foods. In addition, there are numerous night markets and shopping malls with food courts five times the size of those in the US. Also, unlike the states, you can find something good to eat at a modest budget. What’s doubly good for me is that I get to eat my mom’s cooking all the time. Thus, these factors make it rough for a 30-something like myself who’s fighting my body’s desire to look like a pear.
I think one of the things that helped me make my decision to move here (or, at least, make it easier for me to transition over here) was the growing presence of American and Italian restaurants. In addition to Chili’s, TGIFriday’s, Outback and a number of smaller privately-owned restaurants, TPE has added Macaroni Grill, Gordon Biersch, The Diner (a privately-owned restaurant that serves, as the name implies, diner-type food; the 1st one was so popular, another one opened shortly after), numerous burger joints and even a pizza-by-the-slice place. The one thing about TPE is that people have not gotten tired of western cuisine, particularly casual dining. For now, it seems that these places are recession-proof as with every place that opens, the place is consistently full. Although, there still needs to be more Mexican (I can only think of two or three places). Also, it’s my belief that Jamba Juice would kill here.
5 things I miss about life in the US
1. My sister and her daughter Maile. Maile is the closest thing to my own kid (in that I have full access to watch her grow) and I hate that I’m not there to watch it happen. Last time I was there, I was blown away by seeing her stand and walk (even run). I still remember her running up to my sister and hugging her from behind. It was such a simple moment, but for me, to see my sister’s daughter act that way to my sister, it was unforgettable.
The only thing that has changed is that my sister has popped out two more kids (one just recently). Her daughter Maile is still adorable as ever and her 2nd, a boy, is just a riot and a joy to be around.
2. Driving. I miss driving mostly because I miss driving my dog around, the way she would seat in the front seat and then when I roll down the window, she get up and stick her head out. Also, the sight of her sitting in the driver seat when I come back to the car looking at me as if to say “you look tired, maybe I should drive.”
3. Dog parks. I love watching my dog run around leash-free and interacting with other dogs. Also, going to the dog park represents an opportunity of me to read, which I can’t do at home because when I’m around a TV, I don’t do anything else but watch TV, which leads me to…
4. TV, more specifically Tivo. Actually, the viewing options here are not that bad. There are about seven English channels here including HBO and Cinemax (without the sex though). They mostly (if not) only show movies although one channel airs a TV show such as Nip/Tuck (great show) and Monk at 10pm weeknights and another airs shows like Fear Factor, CSI and Lost. There are three sports channels, but due to regional preferences, they show a lot of billiards, Formula 1, tennis and local baseball and basketball. What’s kind of annoying sometimes is they’ll show an otherwise unremarkable game over and over again. For example, over a recent weekend, they showed a Braves-Marlins game at least four times. Sometimes, the replays (of the game) are just separated by a few hours! It’s particularly frustrating because I would like to see more European soccer. Anyway, as any Tivo owner knows, much of my frustrations could be solved with Tivo.
5. Food. I know I just raved about it, but, being born and raised in the US, there is obviously some food that I miss such as Mexican food. It’s interesting that there is a lot of foreign cuisine here such as Japanese, Korean, Singaporean, French and Italian, but no Mexican. I’ve recently been craving some Baja Fresh. I ate at a restaurant that serves Mexican food and I’m willing to bet that they bought their chimicagas at Costco (which they do have here) instead of making it themselves. I also miss good old American cookies. The way they make chocolate chip cookies out here, they shouldn’t be allowed to call it chocolate chip cookies.
Not much has changed with any of these. In fact, I actually miss the US less. Even the TV options have gotten better here. I have since been able to get Star World, which is a channel that airs a lot of US TV shows such as American Idol, Heroes, How I met your Mom, Simpsons, Friends, Seinfeld, Jimmy Kimmel Live. Actually, this might be a good time introduce what programming we get here.
There are about eleven channels that air US shows. First off, we have HBO and Cinemax (w/o the late-night soft-core porn; TW is a fairly conservative society and one of the areas reflective of that is pornography, it’s nowhere near as accessible as it is in the US). The bad thing about the programming here is that a lot of the movies are edited to not include any nudity and even some profanity or heavy sexually suggestive dialogue. (btw, here is a hilarious clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp4QVYNAFcQ) of what one show would be like if it was heavily edited. Fortunately, it’s not that bad in TW.)) There is also Discovery, National Geographic and Animal Planet, although everything on Animal Planet is dubbed in Chinese. There is also Star Movie which, naturally, airs movies. Their catalog of movies is second to HBO here. There is also AXN, which airs both movies and TV shows. Some of the shows are all the CSIs, Chuck (love this show), X-Files, Damages, Numbers, Asia version of Amazing Race and even Slamball. Interesting mix, huh? Another channel is called Hollywood, which airs pretty much B-movies that you probably didn’t know existed. The best movie this channel has aired is “Family Man” with Nicolas Cage (which is a very underrated movie, imo). Then there is Videoland Max, which carries a mix of movies (some decent ones), WWE wrestling and Sex and the City episodes. Finally, there’s one with a Chinese name that only airs movies, which are all pretty decent. Right up there with Star Movies, in terms of quality. For example, “Shawshank Redemption” can often be seen here. The funny thing about the programming here is that often you can see two movies starring the same actor running simultaneously. For example, on one channel, there will be “Meet Joe Black” with Brad Pitt and then, running at the same time on another channel is “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”. This happens almost all the time. Anyway, if you want to see what the programming is like here, you can go here: http://www.chinapost.com.tw/tvguide/.
Sports-wise, you get a lot of pool/ billiards, more soccer and NBA and college hoops (although not the NCAA tournament), all the Yankee games (due to TW’s favorite son Chien Ming-Wang’s presence on the team), the local pro basketball and baseball leagues here, tennis, table tennis, golf and auto-racing. Recently, I’ve seen some college football, but it usually airs at around 3:00am. There isn’t any NFL here.
I know, I know, my Chinese is not that good....
I started a blog on a different website a few years ago, but then got busy and then lazy, etc. Anyway, now I'm back hopefully with a more dedicated work ethic. :S
What I want to write about is life in a foreign country from the perspective of foreigner, but unlike the conventional “fish out of water” stories, my perspective is one of a guy whose family background is rooted in this foreign country, basically it’s from the perspective of an American-born Chinese (or, as we’re cleverly called, ABCs).
While you might doubt that the experiences of an ABC is not that much different from any other foreigner here in Taiwan, I’m here to say that there are some differences that are both frustrating and interesting. For example, (one from the frustrating side) when I, as an AMERICAN-born Chinese, speak Chinese and, admittedly, speak it badly, I immediately get ridiculed by (mostly by people that know me; strangers, for the most part, aren’t that mean). I mean, without fail, someone will go “man, your Chinese is terrible.” Ok, I know I like the part. I look Chinese, but I was born and raised in the US. And while there are plenty of ABCs that speak perfect Chinese, there are those like me that can’t speak it at all. Like, people, figure it out and get over it!!! But when a white foreigner speaks Chinese just as badly as me, he’ll get an over-enthusiastic praise like he split the atom or something. I know that the over-praise is born out of appreciation that a high and mighty foreigner took the time to learn and speak Chinese, but, come on, how about a little love for me? I know I’m an ABC and my Chinese should have been decent to begin with, but the fact is it isn’t. So, again, how about a little love and encouragement my way? Last time I checked, telling someone they suck at something every time they did it isn’t exactly the greatest motivation tool.
As I mentioned before, I started a blog on another site, so in the next few days or so, I’ll post up some of my old entries.
What I want to write about is life in a foreign country from the perspective of foreigner, but unlike the conventional “fish out of water” stories, my perspective is one of a guy whose family background is rooted in this foreign country, basically it’s from the perspective of an American-born Chinese (or, as we’re cleverly called, ABCs).
While you might doubt that the experiences of an ABC is not that much different from any other foreigner here in Taiwan, I’m here to say that there are some differences that are both frustrating and interesting. For example, (one from the frustrating side) when I, as an AMERICAN-born Chinese, speak Chinese and, admittedly, speak it badly, I immediately get ridiculed by (mostly by people that know me; strangers, for the most part, aren’t that mean). I mean, without fail, someone will go “man, your Chinese is terrible.” Ok, I know I like the part. I look Chinese, but I was born and raised in the US. And while there are plenty of ABCs that speak perfect Chinese, there are those like me that can’t speak it at all. Like, people, figure it out and get over it!!! But when a white foreigner speaks Chinese just as badly as me, he’ll get an over-enthusiastic praise like he split the atom or something. I know that the over-praise is born out of appreciation that a high and mighty foreigner took the time to learn and speak Chinese, but, come on, how about a little love for me? I know I’m an ABC and my Chinese should have been decent to begin with, but the fact is it isn’t. So, again, how about a little love and encouragement my way? Last time I checked, telling someone they suck at something every time they did it isn’t exactly the greatest motivation tool.
As I mentioned before, I started a blog on another site, so in the next few days or so, I’ll post up some of my old entries.
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