Money talks better than I can

Recently, I wrote the “new breed” of women here who are clearly hunters preying on ever-hopeful guys looking for sex. Well, the thing that I’ve learned is these women are merely a product of system that support and perpetuate that sort of behavior. In terms of dating/ male-female relationships, gender roles here are much more clearly defined: men pay, women enjoy. Whereas in the US, some women might feel uncomfortable with a guy paying if that guy expects a little “sumthing, sumthing” at the end of the night, the women here unabashedly expects the man to pay for her (and, some times, her friends) without any sense of obligation or even gratitude of any sort (not even a simple “thank you” sometimes). It’s truly a game of give and take here where what’s given is clear (dinners, expensive presents, trips, apartment, etc.), but often times the “take” is not so clear. In fact, often times, it’s a one-way transaction, the guy “gives” and the woman “takes”. Clearly, the key is to realize it’s not a sprint, but a marathon. And that’s where I usually leave the “race”. I’m not one to continually drop cash on some girl just in hopes of wooing her. For me, things need to be a little more equitable. The girl needs to show some appreciation rather than entitlement, which many of these women do.

And the thing is you can’t blame them. (Well, you can, but that’s not point.) There are always guys willing to drop the cash. For example, there are places here called hostess clubs. You’ll find these places all over Asia. As the name might imply, basically, you go to a place that’s divided into rooms. You’re escorted into a room (that of course has a karaoke system) and then every 15 mins, a group of girls will come in and hang out with you. (I’ve gone once for a bachelor party.) During the 15 mins, you talk, drink and even fondle these girls, but no sex. (Although, it’s been established that you can take one of these girls home. You just need to pay a fee b/c the establishment needs to be compensated for the money she could be earning the place if she stayed.) Close to the end of the 15 mins, one of them will turn down the lights and turn on a strobe light and they gave a lap dance to their respective guy. After that, you decide if you want to keep that girl. (I forgot how you’re charged.) Anyway, a lot of these women are hot and a lot of guys (many of them married) here go to these places regularly and sort of “date” one of these girls. They end up taking them out to dinner, probably buy them gifts, etc. The funny thing is, which is where it differs drastically from the US, this is a pretty open and accepted practice. Everyone knows that the men here do this, even their wives who often adopted a “turn the right cheek” approach (probably because laws regarding divorce here are not very favorable toward women). These places are fairly out in the open. In fact, the building where I go with friends to shoot pool also has one of these places in it. I’ve seen a few of the girls and they are amazingly hot. I hear you can expect to spend at least NT$10,000 (US$300).

I brought up the above example to illustrate that with a lot of really attractive girls (especially, models and party girls), dating them is a lot like going to one of those hostess bars. It essentially resembles a straight up cash transaction. If you’re willing to spend the cash on these women, it doesn’t necessarily matter what you do, it certainly doesn’t matter what your personality is like or how you look, you can be with these women. And that might be true in the US (or anywhere else), but it’s definitely true here. You just need to be willing to do it.

LANGUAGE UPDATE

Ok, I think I’ve chronicle my attempts to speak the language. While I am an ABC, my Chinese is pretty bad. (Just ask any of my friends b/c they’ll be happy to tell you.) I’ve come to realize that it’s like my jump shot, if I’m hot and in zone, I can speak pretty well (especially if you can ignore the harsh American accent). But, if I ain’t feeling it, it’s like Shaq on the free throw line. Recently, I was in China for my grandmother’s birthday and my aunt from the US was there. I tried speaking Chinese with her and the look on her face was that of a 10 year-old kid getting socks for Christmas; an excited, anxious look that quickly dissipated into one of disappointment and embarrassment. Hopefully, next time, I’ll be in the zone.